ANONYMOUS INTERVIEW #1
On June 15th 2013, we at HUMANZOO hosted a fundraiser for our Production of Normal by Anthony Neilson. During the party, in a small room upstairs Garry conducted a series of interviews which were audio recorded. The recordings were then transcribed word for word.
This was one of the interviews.
/ indicates an overlapping of text
… indicates a pause or hesitation.
Garry:
Beautiful. Ok. So I’d like to get you to start off by describing your current emotional state.
Human:
Antsy, little anxious. Not super great in being grilled, or in public situations.
Garry:
Both of which are happening right now. Absolutely, I understand. Is that constant or is that uh, something that has only happened to you more recently in life?
Human:
No, comes and goes. /It’s irregular.
Garry:
/ Comes and goes. Right. Are you male or female?
Human:
Male.
Garry:
How many siblings do you have, if any at all?
Human:
3 half sisters
Garry:
And are your parents still alive?
Human:
Yes.
Garry:
Are they married?
Human:
No.
Garry:
Do you identify with the saying, “an eye for an eye?”
Human:
In certain situations.
Garry:
Do you know you’re blood type?
Human:
I don’t.
Garry:
What do you think it is, something rare or something common?
Human:
I think it’s rare but it’s more than likely it’s something common.
Garry:
[chuckle] And what does the word ‘normal’ mean to you?
Human:
It doesn’t… mean much actually… That’s super vague.
Garry:
Would you ever describe yourself as normal?
Human:
…Normalcy… is a subjective thing, yeah, I can’t really. I don’t know.
Garry:
For sure. Uhm. After I ask the question, this is one to just go with your instincts, or just go with whatever comes to mind. Earliest childhood memory.
Human:
I thought about this the other day… I’ll have to think about it for a second.
Garry:
Or an image / from your…
Human:
/Yeah…
Garry:
…childhood that you can remember very vividly.
Human:
This is pretty bad, but I think when I was three or four uh… there was some family conflict between my mom and dad. Ironically that was my first and only memory of my parents together. When I was three or four. That and or, when my mom left my dad … we were in a ferry in Istanbul crossing. That’s one thing I vaguely recall.
Garry:
Uhm, when you were a child, what was your dream profession? What did you want to be when you grew up?
Human:
I didn’t have a dream.
Garry:
Do you remember the first time you decided to go in a specific direction with your life?
Human:
I always wanted to do something good as in, didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, I wanted to do something innocuous. I wanted to do something… uhm, sortof, least offensive [laughs] Sort of the least / damaging to others.
Garry:
/Yes, inoccuous is the perfect word. And what is your current profession?
Human:
I’m a letter carrier.
Garry:
A letter carrier, yes.
Human:
And I was a music presenter which I will probably do again. / A concert presenter.
Garry:
/ You think youre going to go back to it, you’ll change your career in the future?
Human:
No no I won’t change, I’ll probably go back to doing it on the side. That what I was doing. As a side thing.
Garry:
When you were a child, would you say that you were popular, would you describe yourself that way, or say you had a lot of friends?
Human:
No. Well, I had friends but I wasn’t a popular kind of kid. I was kind of … the underdog kid yeah yeah.
Garry:
Do you still have a lot of the friends you had when you were a child?
Human:
I reconnected with them recently, you know, elementary school friends stuff like that, but…
Garry:
…What was the impetus…
Human:
… I wouldn’t call them friends, you know facebook kind of…
Garry:
Yes. Yes.
Human:
And when I went back to turkey we had a dinner and so on, so yeah, I have reconnected with some old friends… from 30 years ago.
Garry:
What does the word evil mean to you?
Human:
The first thing that pops in my head I guess is… folks who hurt beings who can’t help themselves, I guess that’s the first thing that pops in my head, you know.
Garry:
What does the word innocence mean to you?
Human:
Innocence?
Garry:
Yes. [a sound, like a baby crying, is heard in the background]
Human:
Does it exist? Beyond the [incoherent]
Garry:
That’s an excellent question.
Human:
Yeah, I’m not sure. Uhm, purity I guess. Not having been tainted. Probably beyond the age of 5 it doesn’t exist I guess.
Garry:
Do you think that everyone is born innocent or can someone be born in the way that you / describe evil.
Human:
/ I think people are born innocent, that’s my guess, that we’re socialized into becoming what we become mostly. I mean, there’s debate you know, there’s always nature, nurture debate you know.
Garry:
Of course, and you can only speak for yourself.
Human:
Yeah, and my experience is mostly from socialization.
Garry:
Do you think that you’ve ever met someone who was by your definition evil? Or come in contact with someone you think could commit evil acts?
Human:
Apparently I have. Yeah. This person I met online, I got to meet face to face, found out he was uh, peddler of child pornography.
Garry:
Wow.
Human:
It was [incoherent]
Garry:
A peddler not just a collector.
Human:
Not even just a collector which is bad enough but on top he was actually involved. It was a thing in the U.S. It was a big thing. And we found out /
Garry:
/ mhm.
Human:
…all of us on this Jazz board online, found out that this guy was… evil. Not to let him off the hook, or anything like that, he seemed like a nice guy, but I mean anyone who doesn’t you know take their own life, or go get some help in that situation… but then I suppose you can get into some you know, people are so deep in their addiction that you know they can’t bring themselves to that situation, I’m sorry, that’s where my limits of… [half-laughs]
Garry:
Absolutely. Did you ever see it… Did you ever get a clue that…
Human:
Zero.
Garry:
Zero clue.
Human:
That’s why it’s a shock…
Garry:
Do you believe in Karma?
Human:
Uhm, a version of it. Yeah.
Garry:
What goes around comes around…
Human:
To some degree…
Garry:
The energy you / put out…
Human:
/ yeah I mean I’m definitely not a religious person but I mean the way I live my life, for the most part I’d say I covered most of those [incoherent, laughs] …unintentionally.
Garry:
Yes. And uhm, what are you afraid of?
Human:
What am I afraid of? [The sounds of the garden party can be heard more distinct than ever before in the interview] Uhm. I guess losing control. You know, like uh…
Garry:
In…
Human:
Losing total control…
Garry:
of your life?…
Human:
Aging, you know.
Garry:
Ah.
Human:
And I don’t think I have a fear of death so much as having to rely on others just, I kinda fear that.
Garry:
You consider yourself a very independent person.
Human:
Yeah, I mean I like to take care of myself as much as I…
Garry:
I have an ultimatum for you.
Human:
Uh huh.
Garry:
uh, would you rather lose all pervious memories, or, or, sorry, never be able to form new ones.
Human:
I think I’d rather lose my memories… / [incoherent]
Garry:
/ and continue…
Human:
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
Garry:
If you could have any super power what would it be?
Human:
Uhm. Learn to play instruments in five minutes.
Garry:
The super musician.
Human:
The super musician. Yeah.
Garry:
Would perfect pitch go along with that?
Human:
Eh, you would have to be I guess [laughs]
Garry:
You would have to be. Do you remember your first kiss? And what…
Human:
/I do
Garry:
… it was like. What was it like?
Human:
Uhm, bland, but I mean it was exciting at the same time.
Garry:
Do you believe in soulmates? Or destiny?
Human:
No.
Garry:
Neither?
Human:
We’re making it up as we go along.
Garry:
Hm. Uhm, If you could ask ME any question right now, what would it be?
Human:
Uhm…
Garry:
Any question at all.
Human:
Do you want a drink? [laughs]… … … You’re good.
Garry:
What makes you smile?
Human:
Many things. I think the easiest one is acts of kindness that are random acts of kindness, I guess that [incoherent]
Garry:
Tell me something you love about Hamilton.
Human:
It’s not the neck tattoos. I like that its real I guess. It’s not pretentious, its… but yeah.
Garry:
It’s not pretentious…
Human:
It’s not pretentious.
Garry:
That’s good. That’s not to be underestimated.
Human:
No. no. It’s close to Toronto [laughs] I used to live in Toronto /years ago.
Garry:
/ Yeah, it does have / it’s…
Human:
/ Yeah.
Garry:
…pretentious portions… I hear what you’re saying. Uhm. Do you think you will actually go and see HUMANZOO’s production of Normal at the /Hamilton Fringe.
Human:
/Absolutely. Yeah.
Garry:
You, If you, if you don’t think…
Human:
No no no. I will. We will.
Garry:
This is of course not me trying to like, / make sure that you do…
Human:
/No no no. but you…
Garry:
…we are trying to find out legitimately.
Human:
You might as well, you’re doing this, [laughing, incoherent]
Garry:
And I’m wondering if now, you could describe your current emotional state.
Human:
Uh, I’m a little more relaxed. You know I enjoyed the interview and you / know…
Garry:
/ok.
Human:
…a very pleasant experience that’s why I feel a little more relaxed.
Garry:
Which I of course wouldn’t be offended if it wasn’t.
Human:
[laughs] I’m not holding anything back! / Trust me I have no reason…
Garry:
[laughs] ok! I do. I do trust you. I very much trust you.
Human:
Ok.
Garry:
Great. So then, that’s it. So on behalf of HUMANZOO I thank you very very much. / May I hug you?
Human:
/ Great! Pleasure meeting you. Absolutely.
[Embracing is heard with chuckles and back pats]
HUMANZOO 