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interview with garry 4 

On June 15th 2013, we at HUMANZOO hosted a fundraiser for our Production of Normal by Anthony Neilson. During the party, in a small room upstairs Garry conducted a series of interviews which were audio recorded. The recordings were then transcribed word for word.

This was one of the interviews.

/ indicates an overlapping of text

… indicates a pause or hesitation.

[NAME] indicates a name mentioned that has been censored for anonymity


GARRY:

To start out I would love it if you could describe whatever your current emotional state is.

HUMAN:
Uh, probably a little anxious,uhh, a little disappointed and a little… um…. nostalgic.

GARRY:
Nostalgic. Great, that’s a good one. Uhm, and are you male or female?

HUMAN:
Female!

GARRY:
Do you have any siblings?

HUMAN:
I do.

GARRY:
How many?

Human:
One.

GARRY:
One sibling. Male or female?

HUMAN:
Female.

GARRY:
Are your parents still alive?

HUMAN:
Yes.

GARRY:
Are they still together?

HUMAN:
Yes.

GARRY:
Do you um, do you identify with the idea or the phrase an “eye for an eye”?

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
No. not at all under any /circumstances?

HUMAN:
/No. no.

GARRY:
What is your blood type?

HUMAN:
My blood type is.. B positive.

GARRY:
B positive? Do you ever give blood?

HUMAN:
I’m not allowed. /I’m anaemic.

GARRY:
/ You’re not allowed. Ahh. Um, what does the word normal mean to you?

HUMAN:
(slowly, deliberate) Absolutely nothing.

GARRY:
Nothing at all.

HUMAN:
Nothing!

GARRY:
So you would never describe yourself as normal?

HUMAN:
Dear god no.

(We both laugh loudly)

GARRY:
Um, do you think that it’s possible to justify Murder?

HUMAN:
Yes.

GARRY:
Yes. Under only extreme circumstances or…?

HUMAN:
Uhm… No I don’t think the circumstance need to be extreme, but I think its possible to justify it.

GARRY:
What scares you most about life?

HUMAN:
Oh god… uhm. What scares me most about life…?

GARRY:
Or maybe not most, but what scares you a lot about life?

HUMAN:
It ending.

GARRY:
It ending.

HUMAN:
Yeah.

GARRY:
Do you believe in an afterlife?

HUMAN:
Sort of. I think that, you know, we’re all made up of.. the same thing the universe is made up of so I think that there’s some level of living again, but not necessarily as a person you know, maybe, maybe as a person, maybe as stardust, maybe as… dirt. I don’t know.

GARRY:
Um, If you were going to write a book, what would it be about?

HUMAN:
(chuckles) Well. I guess my initial response is Koala bears.

GARRY:
Koala bears?

HUMAN:
Yeah.

GARRY:
Would it be a coffee table book?

HUMAN:
No!

GARRY:
No.

HUMAN:
No! I think it would be like about the life of a koala bear like staring at the world, you know. Cause that’s what they do, they just sit, and they eat..eucalyptus, and they stare…at the jungle. I can only imagine what they see, high up in the trees.

GARRY:
Do you have a favourite or lucky number?

HUMAN:
Three.

GARRY:
How long have you had that lucky number for?

HUMAN:
As long as I can remember.

GARRY:
Do you think you have control over your own destiny?

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
Do you think that destiny exists?

HUMAN:
I do.

GARRY:
Mm. What about a higher being, or god. Does god exist?

HUMAN:
Not as one full form… no. I think god is… more like the cosmos the idea of the universe having.. pretty much the ultimate control, being that it is bigger than we can possibly fathom…over our lives and where we’re going and what we’re here for.

GARRY:
Again, non-judgemental anonymous, have you ever paid for sex?

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
Would you ever?

HUMAN:
Probably not cause its not that hard. (she laughs) I guess if there was something that I really wanted to experience but wanted it to be an anonymous thing like someone I didn’t know, I would consider it. I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

GARRY:
Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable at all?

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
Why do you think that is?

HUMAN:
I grew up in a household where we talked about everything and my parents were always really open about their sex lives, what sex is, sexuality, all that kind of stuff, they were never closed off, they never said no to answering a question or.. used weird names for body parts or anything like that. They were very honest.

GARRY:
They were able to say the word penis?

HUMAN:
(chuckle) Yes.

GARRY:
Do you think that ignorance is bliss?

HUMAN:
Uh… In some ways, yeah? I think if you know nothing, you don’t know the bad, but in some ways no because if  you if you don’t really know the bad then I don’t think you can know the good on the same level, you know? The worse it is, the more you appreciate when it’s beautiful.

GARRY:
Have you-do you have dreams that have recurred throughout your life?

HUMAN:
Yeah.

GARRY:
What are they?

HUMAN:
It’s just really one dream, I have this dream of this secret library inside this house and… there’s like a really convoluted way of getting to it and I only know the way.. and it’s happened since, I think the earliest that I can remember it is about eight. But it’s always the same and the passage is always the same.

GARRY:
Do you always find the library?

HUMAN:
 I always find the library, but I’ve never been able to take someone else there.

GARRY:
Interesting. So this dream varies whether or not you’re trying to take someone there.

HUMAN:
Yeah, sometimes its just me, sometimes I’m trying to take someone.

GARRY:
What do you do if you can’t sleep?

HUMAN:
I read, I read… yeah, that’s about it. I don’t have a lot of trouble sleeping.

GARRY:
What do you read?

HUMAN:
Everything. I love reading. Right now I’m reading Game of Thrones.

GARRY:
How far are you?

HUMAN:
I’m in the first book.

GARRY:
Okay..I heard it took a wile to get into.

HUMAN:
It did not for me. No, right away I loved it. But I read non-fiction as well. I read Carl Zimmers’ book about parasites and loved that. Uhm, yeah. I read.

GARRY:
Tell me your thoughts about aliens. Do they exist, do they not exist?

HUMAN:
Well I believe they exist, I don’t believe in little green men! I think that’s probably a little ways off. I imagine that if there’s a planet similar to earth in every galaxy that… there would be beings similar to humans..obviously they may be more advanced, less advanced, whatever, or slightly different depending on the bacteria that formed on that particular planet. I certainly think there are other beings out there.

GARRY:
Great. What does the word evil mean to you?

HUMAN:
Um… I don’t know, probably not much because I think its pretty hard to define and everyone’s evil is different depending on what your good is. I think it’s a word to me that’s up for interpretation.

GARRY:
Does that mean that you haven’t put a specific definition on it for yourself?

HUMAN:
No, because it changes for me. There are times that I’ll look at something and think that’s so evil, but then to me it also depends on what… the circumstance surrounding it was, right? I think someone who can abuse a child is evil, but what if that child was physically abused and that’s how they know love, and so therefore they show love and that you know… it gets to be so gray, so I don’t really believe in evil versus good…

GARRY:
Do you, do you think that whatever evil might be, that its something we can be born with?

HUMAN:
No, I think that people born without… empathy, which can give the impression of cruelty or evilness but I don’t really believe that babies are born evil and cruel.

GARRY:
Do you think you’ve ever met someone who was truly evil, whether or not you knew it?

HUMAN:
No. No.

GARRY:
Do you believe in Karma?

HUMAN:
I do. Not in the way of like, oh, you hit someone so like someone’s gonna hit you… I think Karma depends on the lessons you’ve learned or still need to learn in your life.

GARRY:
Do you have any secrets you’d like to get off your chest in this kind of anonymous environment?

HUMAN:
Yes, I cheated on my boyfriend and.. I don’t want to tell him because he’s much younger than I am and.. I don’t really think its something he would understand and or be able to be ok with… and that’s sort of frustrating um…

GARRY:
Do you think you’re going to tell him at any point?

HUMAN:
No, because I think it would just be selfish of me. He doesn’t know, he has no way of knowing, he’ll never  find out.. it would just be to get it off my chest, it would do him no good.

GARRY:
Have you forgiven yourself?

HUMAN:
..Yeah…yeah…… yeah. People are human … people make mistakes and I know he’s made mistakes… not really gonna beat myself up about it. It would be nice to be able to have a conversation about it and not feel like.. there was.. going to be a great rift.

GARRY:
Or that you’d be pushing him away?

HUMAN:
Yeah.

GARRY:
Do you have any addictions?

HUMAN:
Mmm. I did. Uh I was a very heavy smoker for a great many years. I was also a cutter for a great many years. Uhm… But currently? Other than Game of Thrones, no, I do not have any addictions.

GARRY:
What do you think about more than anything else?

HUMAN:
Probably.. [ FIRST NAME].

GARRY:
That’s your boyfriend?

HUMAN:
..No.

GARRY:
[FIRST NAME]…?

HUMAN:
[LAST NAME]

GARRY:
Ah. Why do you think I’m asking you these questions… which is not a rhetorical question. I would legitimately like to know what your impression is.

HUMAN:
Well…I think obviously, I believe it has something to do with theatre and art and the exploration of the human mind and… I guess maybe our morality, because in the world as it stands there’s very littllllllle moralllity and humanity. Um, and so I think its maybe its an attempt to understand or explore the truth that people have when there’s no one listening? You know?

GARRY:
Mm, yeah, that… yeah. Um, I have an ultimatum for you. Would you rather lose all your previous memories or never be able to form new ones?

HUMAN:
Oo, that’s a rough one. I hate ultimatums, generally speaking, I usually refuse to answer but in this case I will answer, I suppose… Um..well… I think I would rather… dang that’s hard… Well I feel like if you lost all your memories, you would cease to be who you are. And I am rather fond of who I am so.. I think um, I would probably not be able to make new memories but… yeah, because I think that there are sort of… ways around that, you still have people in your life who love you, they’re able to inform you each day of the things you may not remember.. “50 First Dates” style.

GARRY:
Yes. Exactly, if you could have any superpower what would it be? Anything at all.

HUMAN:
Ooo! Anything at all!?

GARRY:
Anything you want.

HUMAN:
Well….probably to control the weather.

GARRY:
To control the weather, Oo like storm.

HUMAN:
To control the weather. I just feel like that’s such a badass superpower, and there’s so much you could do with it.

GARRY:
Its rather dramatic.

HUMAN:
I’m a dramatic human so.

GARRY:

Yeah, and it also contains a certain dramatic, not for the sake of dramatic, but for beauty’s sake.

HUMAN:
Yeah. Exactly.

GARRY:
Um, do you remember your first kiss?

HUMAN:
I do.

GARRY:
What was it like?

HUMAN:
Um, it was lovely

GARRY:
It was lovely.

HUMAN:
Yup. I was 15… it was very sweet, I was very in love.

GARRY:
Great, just a few more… what do you think Victoria’s Secret is?

HUMAN:
(pause, then chuckle)
What? Like the actual secret, cause like its lingerie.

GARRY:
Like what’s her secret?

HUMAN:
Her secret is… starving her models? And giving them lots of plastic surgery so that they don’t look like humans anymore.

GARRY:
Do you have a song that you listen to that makes you happy right now…what’s your current feel good tune.

HUMAN:
The Drums-Down By the Water.

GARRY:
The drums down by the water. By who?

HUMAN:
It’s..wel- it’s.. The Drums.

GARRY:
The Drums.

HUMAN:
Yup… The song is Down By the Water.

GARRY:
Ohhh, okay. Do you think you’ll actually go and see the HUMANZOO performance of normal?

HUMAN:
Yes.

GARRY:
Yeah, and this is again like pure research, not because I’m trying to convince you to go.

HUMAN:
Yeah, I will probably go probably more than once.

GARRY:
Great. Do you think that funding the arts is important?

HUMAN:
Yes I do.

GARRY:
And what would you gauge to be the budget of this show?

HUMAN:
Well it’s a fringe show.

GARRY:
Yeah.

HUMAN:
So what would I like assume the budget might be?

GARRY:
Yeah.

HUMAN:
Uuuhh maybe a couple thousand… if you guys are really lucky?

GARRY:
Describe your current emotional state.

HUMAN:
I’m a little happier, a little more at ease, uhh yeah, still nostalgic, and intrigued.

GARRY:
Great. May I hug you?

HUMAN:
Yeah!! Yeah, I love a good hug.

GARRY:
Thank you very very much.

HUMAN:
Hey no problem.

Image

The following was a special interview we conducted in preparation for the Hamilton Fundraiser Event, to test out our interview questions on a friend of HUMANZOO. The interview took place at Jakob and Edward’s apartment in Toronto over a few glasses of wine, and though it was not their intention, Jakob and Edward couldn’t help but get involved with this particular interview, which lasted nearly an hour. Thus it has been separated into four parts.

/ indicates an overlapping of text

… indicates a pause or hesitation.

[NAME] indicates a name mentioned that has been censored for anonymity.

GARRY:
Off the top, I’m just going to get you to describe whatever your current emotional state is.

HUMAN:
Fat and sassy.

GARRY:
Are you a male or female?

HUMAN:
Male.

GARRY:
How many siblings do you have?

HUMAN:
Three. Two. Three including me.

GARRY:
Three Including you okay. So you have two siblings. Are your parents still alive?

HUMAN:
Yes.

GARRY:
Are they still married?

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
Do you identify with the idea an eye for an eye?

HUMAN:
Ummm. No. Well indentify…as in..

GARRY:
Does it speak to you, do you believe in it?

HUMAN:
Would I? Do I follow that practise? Eye for an eye?

GARRY:
Do you believe in it.

HUMAN:
Like..I, I believe that it exists but like, do I follow that reasoning? Is that what you mean? Is that what you’re saying? Do I follow that reasoning. Then no, I don’t. I think that people…uhhhm…revenge isn’t the answer. Or uh… justice isn’t, justice isn’t always uh found through, uh, doing what has been done to you or…in any case.

GARRY:
What’s your blood type?

HUMAN:
O… I think its, O…positve I think…not O negative, O negatives the really rare one isn’t it?

GARRY:
What does Normal mean to you?

HUMAN:
Normal to me…Uhhh? Okay, let me just like, just like, throw away the mind and I’ll say normal is… ahhh just being mannerly.

GARRY:
Would you describe yourself as Normal?

HUMAN:
Sometimes.

GARRY:
What is the earliest childhood memory that you have? Or at least the first one that comes to mind.

HUMAN:
Oh my god. I…That’s funny cause memories are uhh, you’re reminded of memories, through like videos and stuff. Uhhh Let me just say this one. I remembered in my kitchen there was like a watering plant uh or a uhhh plant watering device which was like, for hanging plants which you could uh have like a water bottle to squeeze it and it would go up and in… to like the higher hanging plants, and I took that little thing that was like from the water bottles and it was like a bit of a cane and I did like a little vaudeville act…with it.. in my kitchen. And I, that’s like the first thing that came to my mind.

GARRY:
When you were a child, what was your dream profession?

HUMAN:
My uncle always tried to uhh, uhh, encouraged me to be a hockey player..

GARRY:
Was that your dream profession?

HUMAN:
I…. I don’t think I dreamt about professions…when I was a kid. But uh..


The sound of Jakob trying to suppress his laughter can be heard in the background.

But uh when I started dreaming about profession stuff, it was probably… uhh acting. Cause I, that was like, I don’t know I was like thrown on a stage as a young/

JAKOB:
[NAME}, its not neccesarly like, you didn’t have to like, have a dream about it, like you weren’t like a child and you had a dream and you woke up and were like, OHH I want to be that! What did you want to be when you grew up? Is there anything that popped out…was like?

GARRY:
I wanted to be a producer.

HUMAN:
I guess..I just.. an actor I guess, like that’s just what I remembered but you know, like I, you get introduced to stuff? How young do I go back?

GARRY:
Earliest as you can remember.

HUMAN:
Fuck I don’t know..

GARRY:
Still acting..

HUMAN:
Yeah I guess.

GARRY:
And is that your profession now?/

HUMAN:
/Making people laugh.

GARRY:
Ahh.

HUMAN:
I’m not very good at it but..

EDWARD and JAKOB laugh.

GARRY:
Is that your profession now?

HUMAN:
Me? No. I would like to. It would be nice if it was. Now it’s to make people weird-ed out…

GARRY:
When you were a child, I’m going back still/

HUMAN:
/K, yeah yeah.

GARRY:
Um. Would you say that you had a lot of friends…would you describe yourself as having been a popular kid?

HUMAN:
Yeah.

GARRY:
Are you still friends with..with any of the people form your childhood?

HUMAN:
Mhm. Mhm.

GARRY:
Do you think its possible to justify murder?

HUMAN:
….eeeeuhh to justify murder. Sure…yeah you can justify it if you want to. I think you can justify anything.

GARRY:
What scares you most about life?

HUMAN:
Uhh… mmm…shit..these are deep. What scares me most about life? I want to say life itself, but its gotta be more specific..

GARRY:
Does it?

HUMAN:
…I don’t know. …Doing stuff?

EDWARD, JAKOB and GARRY all laugh, then HUMAN starts to laugh a bit too.

Like I’m not scared of death, well I will be once I’m faced it but..

JAKOB:
Are you not faced with it now?

HUMAN:
Faced with death? Hopefully not, shit. …Are you threatening me?

JAKOB:
No no no no, I just mean like in general, death is always possible, you could get hit by/

HUMAN:
/We were born to die.

JAKOB:
/Bus, you know anything could kill you. You say death? Is that/

HUMAN:
But I don’t think about it, I just,/

JAKOB:
/But that’s the first thing you brought up when you, when someone asked you/

HUMAN:
/ Its not death, its fucking something to do with like, I can’t word it. It’s like trying to find your niche or something or trying to, its, its, what,/

JAKOB:
/Finding a purpose.

HUMAN:
I mm, I, I think Its, what’s fears…what I’m most afraid of is… is myyy..self. I think that’s what I’m most afraid of, cause that will ruin my life, I can ruin my own life… and I can ruin other peoples lives…so I just have to be, beware.

GARRY:
…the power you have..

HUMAN:
Not. Okay yeah, everyone has the power to… to, yeah to, yeah, exactly, the power I have to influence my own life and sometimes other peoples lives…but I’m just scared that I…I’m just scared of my own…will. You know.

JAKOB:
What you’re capable of?

HUMAN:
Not what I’m capable of but like..what’s….yeah I guess what I’m capable, I don’t know.

JAKOB:
Mistakes?

HUMAN:
…It’s like I, you know, everyone wants to have a good life right…but, to make a, to have a good life you need to make the right, I guess to make the right choices and…uhh…I’m scared of the, of the… the thing that will keep me down…and that will be myself, because…what else would keep me down? You know, I’m a white male..in this first class country? I have the whole…I have just like, endless possibilities in front of me. So the only that’s gonna stop me is myself… and I fear that, that’s the biggest thing I have to fear…like maybe what…If I commit murder? Shit that’s uh, that’s the worst thing I could do, because that’s gonna fuck me up. I’m not gonna do that though I’m not. I don’t know, maybe, who knows, fuck ,we’ll see what happens…
He laughs.
Woop. Oh woah, its recorded heyyy uh.

GARRY:
If the justification is there?

HUMAN:
Nahh… no. I don’know. I don’t now.

GARRY:
If you were going to write a book, what would it be about?

HUMAN:
Oh.. jesus. It would be…probably really boring.

Everyone laughs uproariously except “HUMAN”

GARRY:
But what, (still laughing) what would it be about?

HUMAN:
…some mundane topic…

Another explosion of laughter.

HUMAN:
Like, what we’re, like me being my own obstacle, like how fucking boring is that?

GARRY:
Mm.

JAKOB:
But that’s not necessarily, that’s, that’s what we were just talking about before, that’s not like… you sat down right now, and you were like/

HUMAN:
I think about that a lot though. So I might actually need to write something.

GARRY:
What your novel is going to be?

HUMAN:
Uhh well

JAKOB:
Some sort of battle with yourself?

HUMAN:
Yeah..it would probably b’ that.

GARRY:
Is that mundane?

HUMAN:
Hopefully not if I, I’m not a good writer though, so probably it would be…if I gave it to a good writer?

GARRY:
Do you have a favourite or lucky number?

HUMAN:
It’s always been three for me.

GARRY:
Do you think that you have control over your own destiny?

HUMAN:
Uhh…somewhat.

GARRY:
Do you believe in.. Destiny?

HUMAN:
I believe in chaos.  …So yeah, the question is do I believe in destiny. No.

GARRY:
Does God exist?

HUMAN:
I can’t say..cause I don’t know but…Yeah I guess that’s my answer, I don’t know.

GARRY:
Does anyone know?

HUMAN:
People like to know, would like to think to know. Does anyone know? Is that what the question was? I’m getting all screwed up.

GARRY:
Do you think that anyone knows.

HUMAN:
No.

GARRY:
Do you believe in god? Or a God?

HUMAN:
…No. Maybe I should though…it would make me… a better person.

GARRY:
Do you believe in an afterlife of any kind?

HUMAN:
No…no.

GARRY:
So life just stops at death?

HUMAN:
Mhm.

GARRY:
Have you ever um, have you ever paid for sex?

HUMAN:
I’ve been thinking about that actually.. recently. I’ve actually been questioning…what that would be like.

GARRY:
Have you been considering it.. seriously?

HUMAN:
Seriously.

GARRY:
So you would pay for it?

HUMAN:
I sat there one day and I was like, I’m fucking horny and I went..what if I just went to Jilly’s? I know. What a bad place to go but I…it was like I just wanted to go to Jilly’s its just down the road, walked in there was like gentlemen uh..excuse me sir…can I have your.. finest…or like..give me a, give me a, like, give me some girl to give me a lapdance, and you know what, she’d probably…fuck me If I took her to like a private room…n’I know gave her some money, and they probably wouldn’t be expensive, she’d probably be riddled with disease? You know what’s a little… clap right? You know, just get some cream…

GARRY:
So why would you go to Jilly’s then?

HUMAN:
I don’t know…It was the closest thing I thought of.

GARRY:
Right.

HUMAN:
I don’t know cause like, if you go somewhere like more fancy, uh. like you go to the Brass Rail or something… Expensive. ….I can’t believe this is recorded.

END OF PART 1